


only fools fall for you.

by heroicgay



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-The Death Cure, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, takes place between scorch trials and death cure, thats about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 10:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroicgay/pseuds/heroicgay
Summary: After reflecting on some advice he was given by Minho, Newt decides to talk to Thomas about the feelings he's had for him.





	only fools fall for you.

    If there was one thing that could comfort Newt, it was fire. He supposed that might’ve been odd but it was hard to find peace in many things in this world. So, if he loved the sounds of the flames cracking, the smell of the wood burning, or the warmth that completely engulfed him, nobody could judge him _too_ much.

He remembered back in the Glade on nights where they would host a bonfire, he’d always be the last one still perched on a log beside it. He used it as a time to get lost in his more mundane thoughts. All the “what ifs” and “maybes”.

After Thomas arrived, that changed. Those lonely nights morphed into a two-person picture. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they sat in a comfortable silence. Newt kind of hated the silence, though. It gave time for his mind to wander to the feelings he had for the boy. He’d catch himself stealing glances, admiring the way the orange hue of the flames illuminated his pale skin, making his light brown eyes appear to be a shimmering gold. His lips were always either pushed out in a frown or curved up in a content smile. Either way, it made Newt’s desire to kiss him raise by a thousand.

Thing was, he’d never actually verbalized his feelings to Thomas. He had always been too scared that it would ruin the friendship they’d managed to build. But he couldn’t deny the pull he felt towards him and part of him hoped that maybe the other boy felt it, too.

Minho — being Newt’s best friend and all — had caught on pretty quickly and confronted him about it one night in the Scorch after the others had fallen asleep.

_“You care about him, don’t you?” He said, gently nudging the blonde’s shoulder._

_Newt looked up at him with his brows furrowed together and shook his head, though it was obvious Minho was entirely unconvinced._

_The blonde allowed his facade to break and sighed, shrugging instead. “Maybe. I don’t really know. I’ve never felt like this around anyone before. It’s_ — _before he showed up, it just felt like existing. And now it feels like living, I guess. That doesn’t make a bit of sense, does it?”_

_Minho laughed softly and shook his head, placing a hand on his friends shoulder. “Not really. But I think I get it.”_

_Newt allowed himself to smile soft at that but it fell pretty quickly. “I don’t know what to do,” He confessed._

_“Nobody does. We had our whole lives stolen away from us. Only experience we’ve got is what we had back in the Maze.”_

_“Yeah, I guess.”_

_Minho appeared to be considering his next words carefully. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did, okay? Don’t let yourself get scared by what you don’t know. You might think that you’ve got time, but what if you don’t? What if right now is all we’ve got, huh? And if something happens to him like it did with Ben, you’ll be stuck wondering about what could’ve been if you’d just found some courage within yourself. You might think it’d be hard to love him and then lose him but I guarantee you that it’s harder to have known you never tried and that you’ll never get the chance to try again.”_

Newt sighed and wrapped his arms around himself. If Minho were here, he’d probably be smacking him upside the head. The thought of disappointing him was incredibly unsettling. He’d given him a second chance at life years ago and he’d be a fool to spend it full of regret.

So, despite everything inside of him screaming not to, Newt pushed himself up from his place on the ground and made his way to where Thomas sat alone, admiring the dancing flames before him.

“Got room for one more?” He asked with a small smile.

Thomas glanced up at him and softly laughed out a, “I’ve always got room for you,” that made Newt’s heart jump in his chest.

He pursed his lips to refrain from saying anything humiliating in the spur of the moment, instead carefully considering how he could address the topic. After a few moments, it came to him.

“Can I ask you something?” Newt hesitated.

Immediately concern washed over Thomas’ features. He was far too caring for his own good. It was one of the things Newt loved about him.

“Newt, you’re one of my best friends. You know you can talk to me about anything,” He replied sweetly, a comforting hand falling to the blonde’s knee. It was probably weird for him to see the person who usually had it all together and helped him work out his problems coming to him for once.

Newt sighed and allowed himself to meet the brunettes gaze. Something about it calmed him and gave him the courage to speak again. “Do you think it’s possible to love someone? In a world like this?”

Thomas tilted his head to the side, deeply considering the question. “I think it is, yeah. Just because everything around us is going bad doesn’t mean we stop being human, you know? We still feel things, even when we think we feel nothing.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Do you know what it’s like? To be in love?” He pressed on, voice softer this time. Less confident.

The brunette pursed his lips, stare shifting to the ground beneath them. There was a bit of uncertainty in his expression and it was clear he was holding himself back from saying something. Newt couldn’t help but wonder if it were the same thing he were holding himself back from. He hoped it was. He really, really hoped it was.

“It’s….it’s a really intense and terrifying thing. It kind of happens without you even realizing it. There’s just this one moment where it clicks and there’s nothing you can do about it except accept it. If you try to push it away, you can’t. It’s complicated. More than I can explain, I guess,” He shrugged.

So Thomas was speaking from experience. Newt couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. There was a chance that he was talking about him but there was also the chance that he wasn’t.

“So….you love someone? For sure?” Newt asked stupidly.

Thomas snorted and rolled his eyes, “I guess…..Newt, what’s up with all the questions? Isn’t the undying curiosity supposed to be my thing?”

This was it. If he didn’t say it now, he never would.

“Because I think I love somebody, too.”

The entire tone around them shifted at that. It was kind of a big confession, especially for Newt. He tended to avoid talking about anything pertaining to his thoughts and feelings unless it was for the sake of providing someone else with comfort so they knew they weren’t alone.

There was a glint in Thomas’ eyes as he turned to face Newt, breaking out into a smile.

“Where the hell has my head been that I didn’t catch onto this?”

Newt shrugged, scratching at the back of his neck. “We’ve had a lot going on. Besides, only Minho knew and he can read me like an open book. Nobody can compete with him on that front.”

“Is it Minho?” He asked with a frown. So that possibility was….disappointing?

“Me and that bloody shank? Not a chance. Minho’s my best mate, nothing more,” Newt laughed, taking mental note of the relief that now crossed Thomas’ features. So far this wasn’t entirely terrible.

Thomas was laughing now, too, gently shoving at the blonde’s shoulder. “Yeah, I guess you guys would be a bit of an odd mix. So, if not Minho, then who?”

_You._

It would’ve been so easy to say. At least, it should’ve been. But instead, he had to take the more complicated and childish route because he didn’t think he could handle the rejection upfront.

“No, no, you have to tell me first. You were the first to admit that you loved somebody so it’s only fair,” Newt countered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Thomas considered this for a second before sighing and nodding. This was it. This was the moment everything would change. After this, there was no turning back.

“It’s Minho. I — I love him. I’m in love with Minho,” He spoke as if it were the hardest thing he’d ever done. It was probably the first time he’d said it out loud.

For Newt, it was like the whole world had stopped spinning. His arms hugged tighter around himself and he swore his lungs had stopped working. He knew the color had definitely drained from his face. Because Thomas didn’t love him. **He didn’t love him**. And now he was just the fool who fell for someone he shouldn’t have. The fool who was going to ruin their entire friendship because he couldn’t keep his emotions in line.

“Newt? Are you — are you okay?”

He was the furthest from it. He felt like he was going to be sick. Regardless, he sent the most reassuring smile he could muster over to the brunette and frantically nodded. “Yeah, great! I’m — I’m happy for you, Tommy. Really happy. I just realized how tired I am and Fry’s cooking isn’t exactly sitting right with me so—“

“Why are you lying to me?” Thomas asked with a hurt expression.

No. No, he wasn’t allowed to be upset right now.

“I’m not lying to you.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have feelings for Minho?”

Newt rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “And I shucking meant it, Thomas. Can I go now?”

Thomas was clearly taken aback by the sudden attitude the blonde had acquired. But despite how oblivious and slow he typically was, he seemed to piece everything together in his head in that moment because the hurt and slight annoyance morphed into sympathy. Maybe even pity. Newt didn’t want his pity. He wanted him to love him. Clearly that wasn’t going to happen, though. And he was an idiot for ever thinking that it could.

“Newt, I — why? Why me?”

The blonde let out a sad laugh, blinking away the tears that were welling up in his eyes. “You said it yourself. You can’t change or control it, it just happens. I didn’t wake up and decide to—to love you.”

“How long have you known?”

“Does it matter? You don’t feel the same and there’s nothing either one of us can do about that.”

“I’m sorry. I really am. If I had known I……”

“You what? Would’ve rejected me sooner?” Newt replied bitterly before sighing. It wasn’t Thomas’ fault that the feeling wasn’t mutual. Of course that didn’t make it hurt less, but he didn’t have to take that hurt out on the other boy. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a twat. Just hurts a hell of a lot. And I feel like a proper fool.”

Thomas sighed, placing a hesitant hand on Newt’s upper back. “You’re not a fool, okay? You’re amazing. And someday you’re going to meet somebody who is going to love you the way you deserve.”

Newt shrugged.

“Someone will love you, Newt,” He said, sounding completely convinced of the fact.

“But not you,” The blonde whispered.

Honestly, Thomas looked like he could cry at that.

“Newt—“

“Slim it, Tommy,” Newt interrupted, pushing himself up onto his feet. He was walking away before the brunette even had the opportunity to get in another word.

Minho was wrong. He’d rather never have known.

**Author's Note:**

> i've been wanting to write some unrequited newtmas for a While and tbh this didn't turn out how i imagined, but i still like it and i hope you guys do too!
> 
> i apologize for any hearts i may have broken.
> 
> as always, i'd love to hear ur thoughts & stuff so i'm gonna shamelessly plug my twitter @heroicgay !


End file.
